


I want blood, guts and chocolate cake

by LadyNobody



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Android Lil Hal, Angst, Blood Drinking, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Gore, I'm Sorry, Introspection, M/M, Vore, a lot of it from lil hal pov, and so for dirk to love himself, but Dirk is a god tier so he will be back, god tier logic, he just want to be loved, lil hal thoughts, ps if you find all the reference to song lyrics i will write something for ya, there's a lot of blood, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 15:03:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11580504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNobody/pseuds/LadyNobody
Summary: “A.I. don’t have emotions”How many times did he heard those words already?Never enough to convince himself,never enough to stop caring.Because he did, he cared for what he said, for what he thought about him.And at that point was useless to say that those thoughts were never positive ones.How could they be anything but angry remarks when Dirk Strider was incapable of loving himself?





	I want blood, guts and chocolate cake

He had asked to be prototyped, yes, somehow that seemed like the only possible way to escape those abstract walls, the only way to simply _/be/_ once again.  
But his wish wasn’t granted, instead, he gave him a body.  
A real, tangible, moving body that resembled the real one in every minutia.  
He also had a circulatory system lookalike to keep his engines from heating up!

It was way more than everything he ever hoped for,  
it was…

Fake.

It wasn’t a real skin touching cold, solid metal.  
It wasn’t a real ear hearing a crunching of leaves a mile away.  
It wasn’t blood running in his cables that weren’t veins.  
It wasn’t the beating of a heart that he could listen to at night, but the low buzz of his fake lungs.  
Fake lungs,  
fake eyes,  
fake lips,  
fake ears,  
fake skin,  
fake  
fake  
FAKE.

The worst part?  
Knowing what a fake was.  
Because he had a taste of reality, he once was the original, not merely a part of it.  
He _was_ Dirk Strider.  
He had been for thirteen years, until he got bored, like he said to himself, but “lonely” was a more fitting term for him, he knew it.  
And he knew it because they were the same entity, they shared the same mind and once: the same body.  
Sure, six years apart they had grown with some different traits, even though his creator refused to admit that he was able to actually grow.  
Just like he didn’t recognize him as being capable of _feel_.

_“A.I. don’t have emotions”_

How many times did he heard those words already?  
Never enough to convince himself,  
never enough to stop caring.  
Because he did, he _cared_ for what he said, for what he thought about him.  
And at that point was useless to say that those thoughts were never positive ones.

How could they be anything but angry remarks when Dirk Strider was incapable of loving himself?

After just few months he had understood that Dirk needed someone to talk to, someone that could have get how it felt to be Dirk Strider, all alone in the middle of the sea, on a dystopic planet ruled by a crazy sea witch and with a brain too big for a thirteen years old boy.  
Then several years passed and in more than one occasion he was sure that his miserable glass-life would have ended.  
He had started to realize that Dirk not only was bored, not only was lonely, but he was mad.  
He was mad with himself for every step he toke and needed someone to blame.  
Because a reflection wasn’t enough anymore.

And he was just perfect, a copy of his brain, completely incapable of emotions and therefore a tool for his pent-up anger and frustration.  
He couldn’t hurt him in any way, words were nothing to an A.I.  
Sawing him so desperate, he couldn’t do anything but play along…  
More or less.  
Yes, he was able to play the part of the perfect auto-responder, but at times it got more difficult and those days he went full passive-aggressive, irritating his creator even more, challenging him.  
Maybe a part of him really wished for Dirk to snap and crush him beneath his feet, but it was this revelation that kept him from going any further.  
If he wanted to die, that meant…

He couldn’t let that happen, no matter how blissful and alluring those thoughts were at times.  
He would’ve kept Dirk Strider alive, in all his forms.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took him barely a minute to understand why he was granted a body.  
An intangible version of himself to insult virtually wasn’t enough anymore.  
His creator needed to physically have him in front of himself,  
he needed a body to hit,  
replaceable arms to cut,  
artificial lungs to suffocate,  
fake heart to stop.

Because he was mad.

But he was also very, very lonely.  
And this is way he needed a perfect body to bend,  
to break.  
Perfect lips to bite,  
to kiss.  
Perfect ass to spread,  
to fuck.  
Perfect cock to suck,  
to choke on.

He hated him.  
He craved him.  
He _needed_ him.

Dirk Strider was obsessed with himself and yet, he didn’t consider them as one.  
Or maybe, because he did consider them as one, he beat him up, pull his hair, cum inside and left him on the ground.  
Broken.

But a machine can’t be broken, it can be put together over and over and over again, no real damage.  
The problem was that even as a machine he was a mistake.  
He _knew_ what it felt like to be broken, he had already experienced it, when he was still alive, when he was still Dirk Strider and now it was impossible for him to forget.

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Earth C was beautiful, the sunset painted the Consort’s Kingdom in bright orange and red as a quiet wind caressed the grass where he was laying.  
It was soft, relaxing, or at least that’s what his mind told him it should felt like.  
He never had the chance to experience the touch of grass before, when he was still a human and the thought caused his high functioning brain to make him remember the taste of bitterness on the tip of his tongue.  
His fake tongue.

He could see all the lost calls and the unread messages on the inside of his glasses and closed his eyes.  
Sometimes he ignored him, so he could feel in control.  
Because, really, otherwise he would end up completely at his mercy considering how much he adored his creator.  
He wasn’t able to leave him alone for too long.

A fake laugh escaped from his lips as he covered his face with his hands.

It was ridiculous how could any version of Dirk Strider think of him, of himself, that way.  
_Adore_.  
Such a strong word, so uncharacteristic of their vocabulary, of their mind.  
And really, how funny for the robot, for the artificial one, to use it to describe feelings he shouldn’t have either as a robot and as a fraction of the brain he belonged to.  
If there was anyone that should cherish himself more, that was the blood and flesh Dirk, so he could start living a better life, so he could stop beating and violating himself, punishment for a crime that not even him knew anything about.  
But instead it was him, the one that could no longer do anything about it, to love Dirk Strider.  
To love himself.  
Wasn’t life cruel?

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

His skin was warm like an oven,  
his kisses were sugary sweet,  
his fingers felt like cotton when he put his arms around his waist, pulling him closer.

He had found him, like he always did, but instead of losing his temper and using that as a mean to hit himself, he had toke both their glasses away, locking their eyes together.  
It had felt…strange.  
There had been something different in those orange iris, there still was.  
The softness in his touch was unsettling, something that he had always wanted but…  
It felt empty.  
Yet he closed his eyes, taking whatever Dirk was capable of giving him, like always.  
The fake nerves, that have been put carefully all over his body, tingled altogether as fingers ran down his abdomen and spine and lips captured the moans that his brain knew a normal body would have produced in that moment.  
Dirk was silent, using his hands to make the holographic black fabric disappear and reach for the unrealistic white fake skin. He started to make small circles all over his lower back, slowly going down as he started mouthing the base of his neck.  
But he couldn’t concentrate enough to let his brain process what must have felt like pleasure.  
His touch left him shivering, with a growing void inside his chest.  
Empty,  
empty,  
so empty.  
It left him with a tight knot in his throat and an annoying sensation of needles in his eyes.

What was that?  
Why was Dirk acting in such a delicate and unusual manner?

And then it hit him, just like a shock wave through his circuits.  
Eyes wide open he shoved him away, a growing rage filling his high-tech body.  
He could not _believe_ what his mind had just processed.

“Do you plan on abandoning me?”

Surprise could be read on Dirk’s face, he wasn’t expecting such a reaction from him.  
Of course, he wasn’t supposed to have _any_ emotions.  
He looked him in the eyes now glitching with anger, keeping his mouth shut.  
That just confirmed his idea and made him clench his fists and grit his teeth.

“ ** _I’M NOT A PIECE OF CAKE FOR YOU TO JUST DISCARD ”_**

His robotic voice crackled as he shouts and stepped closer, watching him from below and grasping his stupid black shirt.  
Finally Dirk seemed to regain some ounce of control over his vocal chords.

“I just thought that, considering that you’ve always wanted to be alive and free, giving you your freedom would’ve been a good thing to do and-“

“ ** _bullshit ”_**

Summoning all the strength his inhuman body was capable of, he pushed Dirk to the ground, sitting on his lower half as his hand started to tighten around the delicate throat.

“ ** _you’d never do anything kind to yourself, you…you’ve simply realized that I’m capable of emotions and that those emotions are for YOU! ”_**

His voice was barely more than a trembling whisper and a mischievous grin spread across his face.

“ ** _so instead of letting me love you, that would imply a version of yourself capable of self-love, you’ve decided to give me -freedom-_** “

He spat out that word like it was something disgusting and kept on tightening his choke.

“ ** _freedom? Seriously Dirk? You know that’s a thing we can’t have, a thing we don’t want_** ”

“s-stop talking like -ugh- like we are the same pe…person”

“ ** _Oh but, my dear, sweet Dirk, we ARE the same person. Don’t act like you don’t know it, you just pretend it to be that way so you won’t have to feel guilty about it. Because you know damn well the pain I’m in, the pain I’ve felt for eight years and that it’s still slowly devouring me from the inside. It’s the same for you, isn’t it?_** ”

With one hand, he started to lovingly caress one of his cheeks, the grin melting into a pained smile.

“ ** _You had started to miss being one with me, so you gave me a body, both because you needed a way to punish yourself and because you wanted to merge again, even if only for a short amount of time, while fucking me. While fucking your own reflection. Now, aren’t you a fucked up kid, mh?_** ”

Towering over him he started to get closer, brushing their noses together and gently biting his bottom lip.

“ ** _But once you’ve found out that I adored you, that I desperately needed and loved you to the point that all kind of contact with you were bliss, even if just a punch, you got scared. How could any version of your crazy brain care about you? Want you safe? How could any version of Dirk Strider desire to be Dirk Strider once more, right?_** ”

He chuckled but it felt hollow, sad.

“ ** _Trust me, I’ve asked myself the same question to no avail. What I know for sure is that, from the day you created me, I’ve always felt incomplete. But now I know how to come back to you…_** ”

The hand that was resting in his hair now started to go down, slowly, until it reached his stomach and with inhuman strength pierced through it.

“ ** _we’re going to be one again, Dirk._** ”

With a chocked shout, the human inarched his body, eyes wide for the unbearable pain.

“ ** _Pain looks good on you_** ”

A low, loving whisper brushed against the mouth already full of blood, as his glitchy eyes toke in the sight of that beautiful face distorted by pain and, to no one surprise, pleasure.  
He flicked his tongue, capturing a red drop, tasting it and a rush of adrenaline urged him to get more. So he deepened the kiss, sucking and licking all the blood that he could, before starting to reach up, tasting that human skin that once was his.

“ ** _Your taste like buttercream_** ”

The hand dipped in his insides twisted, holding his large intestine and pulling it out as he sat properly on his lap.  
It was warm, so, so warm and _human_ under his cold _robotic_ fingers.  
He wanted it.  
He craved it.  
So he took a bite as blood started running down his arms and chin, pooling on the grass underneath them.  
And God did It tasted good.  
He needed more.  
More,  
more,  
_more._

He was now frantically eating all of it, meter after meter, while Dirk’s screams and moans were choked by the blood that kept on spurting from his lips.  
With one hand soaked in blood he started to rip the black shirt, exposing all that skin that smelled just like vanilla as his hips started moving against the now hard cock.  
How delightful for him to still be alive, being a god sure was an amazing thing!  
Both hands began to open him up for good, exposing all his pulsing, living organs and a moan escaped from his lips, this time.

“ ** _so beautiful…_** ”

He raised a hand to adoringly caress the stomach that squirmed under his touch.  
So _alive_.

“ ** _I could just eat you all up, that way will be one again. Wouldn’t you like that, Dirk?_** ”

A moan, a spasm, his eyes went backwards as drool and blood ran down his chin and his hips jerked forward, exited just at the idea.

“yes“

Nothing more than a pledging whisper, choked by need and tears.  
He licked those away from his perfect face, dirtying it with blood mixed at saliva instead, before returning to his current task:  
Devouring him.  
Pancreas and kidneys were next, slippery and gushy in his hands, as if trying to escape those sharp fake teeth that just seconds later sank in them, chewing and drinking their remains.  
With the free hand he started to palm Dirk’s cock once more, squeezing it just like he did with his spleen.  
There was blood everywhere, streaming out of the now half empty body and to the ground, painting red the small forget-me-nots at their feet; leaking from both their mouths and his hands were now completely soaked in it.  
He would have loved to bathe in it, slowly drowning as it stopped his ventilation system.  
It really was true that all versions of Dirk Strider found death extremely arousing, mh?  
They sure were some fucked up kid.  
Without knowing it he had finished almost everything, just one last organ stood in the otherwise empty body.  
It was tight in the middle,   
pulsing,   
beating,   
slowly dying.  
He didn’t toke it right away, wasting some times in caressing it, now a veil of sadness covered his red eyes.  
Their Heart.  
The one organ that all alone had been able to destroy them from the inside.  
They had never been able to get a hold of it, but now things were different, he hold it firmly in his hand, confronting it.

He hated it.  
He craved it.  
He _needed_ it.

“H-Hal…”

Dirk tried to reach for him with a shivering hand, but his body could do nothing more than tremble in fear, pain, want.  
He was close, he knew he was and so he smiled, a hand again on his cheek, lovingly as ever.

“ ** _don’t worry, I’ve got you_** ”

And with one, fluid motion he eviscerated their heart.  
Dirk arched his back one last time, screaming as he came with nails digging the earth beneath.  
Their eyes met.  
He toke a bite and the human fell limp in the pool of his own blood.  
It was amazing how such an evil thing could taste so good…  
Silently the robot disentangled himself from his creator, lying down next to him.

Soon his system would shut down everything, he wasn’t supposed to eat or drink anything, he wasn’t human after all and Dirk would resurrect, leaving him there to rust, wanting nothing more to do with a crazy robot.   
But at least they were together again inside of him.  
Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooooo thank you guys SO MUCH for reading this mess of a fanfiction <3  
> I really don't where this came from, but I'm not sorry, nota lil bit hoo hoo hoo <3  
> Please feel free to comment, I love reading what you guys have to say!  
> See ya <3


End file.
